Four Years in the Making
by applesaucex
Summary: Four years after the events of FFXIII,Hope travels to Bodhum to celebrate the birth of Snow and Serah's new child. But he's more distracted at the prospect of seeing someone else that he's been thinking about for the last four years...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**Back to 13! I would just like to say that I DID NOT finish the game (stupid college), but I have unfortunately come into contact with some spoilers, so I'm trying my best to keep this story of post-13 semi-accurate. if there's something blatantly wrong (like outlandish...i'm talking aerith's-alive-post-7 wrong), please inform me in the least spoil-ish way :D **

**but hopefully that won't affect the story too much!**

**Disclaimer: characters aren't mine, hence this being on fanfic.**

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"Are you going or not?"

He blinked for a second, trying to let the full words on the card dig into his brain. Of course he was going. There was never any possibility of him not. But then why did he have so much doubt? "I don't know." Such a lie. He had to go. There was no feasible way he could ever blow such an opportunity.

"It's soon though. You've been indecisive about that for weeks."

He nodded slowly at his father, letting his silvery hair drop over his face, blurring the card's words for a moment. It was tomorrow. The RSVP deadline had been a week ago, and he had never replied. Maybe it would be selfish to show up now; they probably didn't prepare for him. He would only be a burden. And besides, this card was probably just a formality. He hadn't seen any of them for 4 years, but after all they went through, they were socially obligated to invite him. Just because he was dying to see them didn't mean they felt the same.

But Snow had called him, rather enthusiastically too. The older man seemed only confused that he might not show up.

"_Huh? You don't know? What kind of answer is that?"_

_He paused for a second, "…I don't know."_

"_Hey, we haven't seen you for years. This'll mean a lot for the whole bunch. Just come stop by Bodum for a day. You won't have to stay the whole weekend."_

"_But Snow…"_

"_What?" Snow was laughing to himself a little, "Is there something wrong, Hope?"_

"_No…nothing."_

"_Then come! I'll save you a seat. Sounds like you've been through a bit of changing too, huh?"_

_Hope sniffed, "Sure." His voice didn't really sound too different at all._

"_I'm taking that as a yes, see you soon!"_

So maybe he had…sort of RSVP'd, without really meaning too. And they _were_ expecting him. They did want him to come. His green eyes glanced back at the invitation. "I guess I'm going."

"Then you better start packing. The train leaves early tomorrow morning." His dad patted his back firmly before turning back to the blasting TV.

Hope just nodded and retreated back to his room. He paced around the small perimeter of his bedroom before collapsing on his bed, the invitation still clasped in my hand. "Stop being so nervous."

There was literally nothing to be nervous about. He's faced fal' cie and more monsters than he could even count, but for some reason, that little card was scaring him more than anything of those.

_Hope Estheim-_

_Serah and Snow Villiers would like to invite you for a three day celebration for their new child:_

_ Eira Villiers_

_It would be an honor for you to attend this magical moment in their lives._

He folded the thick piece of pink paper and slipped it into his jeans pocket, before dragging out his suitcase. He packed a fair amount of clothes, enough for at least 3 days, in the large black rolling suitcase and soon fell into his bed once again, letting sleep takeover.

'_I'm just a kid, aren't I?'_

'_Hope…'_

'_You can say it…I'm stronger now. Even if you don't see it.'_

'_Fine then. You are. You're just a kid. You'll always be just a kid.'_

His stomach hurt when he woke up that morning. Hope scratched his eyes before forcing himself to stand and looked at himself in the mirror, half expecting to see a short, young boy staring back at him. But he wasn't short…not _as _short at least. 5' 9" is never really considered tall by anyone, but compared to his height four years ago, it was quite a change. He supposed his face looked different too, more like an adult. Well at least that's what he expected. He didn't really notice any change. _Maybe she will._

He shut the thought off. _Promise not to think about that._

But the rest of his body wasn't agreeing. It was practically all he could think about. How they fought together, how she comforted him, how she would never…

He shook his head again. Those thoughts wouldn't be making this trip any easier. And he couldn't believe that still, after 4 years, that he still had a crush on her. _Grow up_.

As much as he thought he was growing up, Hope immediately started feeling like a kid again. He was 18. He was, technically, an adult. But being dropped off at the train station by his dad, who insisted not to leave until he got on the train, made him feel quite the opposite. He traveled to Gran Pulse for Eden's sake. The least he could do was board a train to Bodum.

That was another thing he was dreading…besides the obvious reason of course. He hadn't been to the seaside city since before the Purge. It had been with his mother too. It was one of the last moments of her in his memory.

Hope shook his head thoroughly. _This is a happy occasion. Don't ruin it with those memories._ He nodded his head in confirmation. That's what he'd think about: Snow and Serah's daughter and nothing else. That was why he was coming, and it should be the only thing on his mind.

But that quickly turned into how he couldn't believe that Lightning was an _aunt. _The thought made him smile a little, thinking of Lightning holding a little baby with her gloved, callused hands. He doubted she was the type to coddle, but knew that she would always be caring, and loving, and…

Hope blinked his eyes away from the image. "There goes _not _thinking about it."

The long train ride wasn't helping either. There wasn't really much to do except for let his mind wander, which was the last thing he wanted. He looked forward to the brief interruptions by stewardess, asking him questions that briefly distracted his mind. Hope thought about those questions long and hard, sometimes never actually coming to a decision at all. "…No thanks, I'm actually not that thirsty."

The young woman smiled and began to walk forward, when something drew her attention back to him, "Hey…I think I know you."

Hope smiled a little. It had been years since he was famously marked as a l'cie. People didn't really recognize him too often anymore. "Yeah, I'm sure you've seen me on the news before."

"Yeah!" The lady giggled, "Wow, you were that little one! The boy! You sure haven't changed a bit."

His smile immediately faded, "Um, thanks." He was just about ready to get this girl out of his sight when a sudden question came to mind, "Hey, how long is it until we get to Bodum?"

She quickly glanced at a watch on her wrist, "Approximate arrival time is in about 10 minutes."

_Great._ "Actually, can I have a beer?"

Her eyes widened, "I'll need to see your ID…that is, if you have…"

"Here." He grimly took the picture ID from his pocket. "You'll see that I was born _18 _years ago."

The lady kept smiling, ignoring his exasperated tone. "I'll be right back, Mr. Estheim."

"Thanks." Hope shrunk back into the fairly cushioned train passenger seat. _That was not what I needed_.

A beer, however, was _just_ what he needed, but unfortunately for Hope, the train arrived in Bodum before he ever got it.

Bodum, when not being gruesomely purged, was actually a beautiful city. Everything felt peaceful, the skies and nearby water perfect shades of blue. The majority of people stepping off the train were probably on vacation, relaxing in the easygoing town for a few weeks before getting back to their lives.

But that was not how Hope felt at all. Though the city seemed to be a symbol of serene relaxation, all Hope felt was tense. The bright colored sun, to him, only emphasized where he was, who he was going to see in a matter of _minutes_. It practically made him incapable of breathing.

"Look daddy!"

For some reason, that voice sounded familiar. Hope turned around, to face the voice, only to see a young boy running up to him. "Hey! Dajh!" He hugged the boy back, glad that this would be his first reunion. "You grew so much. What are you? Ten now?"

"He's not the only one. That you Hope?"

Hope turned away from Dajh and smiled even more. There was Sazh, a huge grin on his face, something that slightly surprised Hope. "Yeah. I guess…it's been a while." He held out his gloved hand for Sazh to take, but the older man didn't accept it. Instead, he dragged the teenager into a deep hug, strongly patting his back.

"Can't believe it. You finally broke 5 feet, haven't you?"

Hope laughed a little, "I was never that short…"

"For a while I thought maybe that was just in your genes. Proved me wrong, huh?"

He shrugged, "I don't think I changed that much really."

"Huh, suit yourself. I'd say the only one of us that's changed even more is Chocobo."

The thought of the tiny little bird immediately made Hope smile. "I guess he's not in your hair anymore?"

"No! I can ride him now!" Dajh exclaimed enthusiastically. "Daddy wouldn't let me bring him here though."

Sazh patted his son's head lovingly, only seeming to annoy Dajh a little. "Anyway, we should be getting a move on. This whole thing starts soon, doesn't it?"

Hope went through his pants pockets, feeling the now very crinkled invitation in his hand, "Um…yeah, let's go."

"Nervous?"

The question caught him off guard. Was he really that easy to read? "Nah. I'm excited." That was actually true; he just didn't realize how much he was until right now.

"Hmph. I would be too, I guess, if I were in your shoes." Sazh patted him on the back again and walked forward, Dajh trailing behind him.

Hope just stood there, momentarily stuck in thought. _What was that supposed to mean_? He ran back up to meet them, playing it off in his mind that Sazh was only referring to how much he's grown. Because…of course Sazh didn't know the real reason. He didn't know how excited he was to see Lightning again.

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**A/N:**

**I'm sure there are stories like this already out there on fanfic (...i'm not really sure, maybe i should research), but I would like to thank you all for reading this :D i'll try to update soon now that classes are over, but reviews are always great motivators! **

**Oh and sorry for the super obvious baby name. I'm bad with names T__T  
**

**-ASX  
**


	2. Chapter 2

** A/N:**

**Hi guys! Hope you haven't waited for too long! My sport (I'm being vague..) is finally over now, so I was able to finish this! yay! **

**Oh, I'm sorry for misspelling Bodhum in the past chapter...I will correct it in ch1 eventually, but the switch was made in this chapter!  
**

**And a special, awesome thanks to my lovely reviewers :D you guys are great and provide me with so much motivation!! Not only do I know that you guys read it, but you actually _like _it? That's fantastic!**

**Disclaimer: ...still not mine. **

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Hope was lucky he found Sazh along the way. Now that he was here in Bodhum, he didn't actually know where to go. He had followed his mother around four years ago, passing by tourist attraction after tourist attraction, but the actual location of Snow's house was definitely a total mystery to him.

Sazh led him and Dajh down the Bodhum boardwalk and across the seaside landscape deeper into the city. Even though Palumpolum was right by the shore, Hope didn't really go down there too often. He started to regret that. Everyone seemed like they were having such a nice time, wading in the cool rush of waves after burning their toes on the white sand. He felt like running on the sand himself, but that quite possibly be because he wanted to delay this meeting as much as possible. An idea struck him, "Hey Dajh, want some ice cream?"

The younger boy's eyes lit up at the suggestion, but Hope continued, "It sure is hot out. I'll treat."

Dajh tugged on Sazh's arm for approval, but the father immediately rejected the idea. "There'll be food at the party Hope. You can't wait a minute?"

"…Alright then." Hope kicked the air aimlessly, a little upset with his failed attempt at procrastination.

They soon were standing outside of the Villiers' household. It was a nice looking house, not too small or too large, with a small porch fully equipped with one of those white large swings. It was a normal looking house, really; the most standard property Hope could ever really think of. But, in some way, that was just right for Snow and Serah. A couple that had to deal with so much craziness deserved this normality. Sazh ran right up , Dajh right next to him on the front porch. The older man glanced over his shoulder towards Hope, "You coming?"

There was no point in trying to resist now. Hope fumbled up the white steps towards the door and his friends. His head was down-turned, but he raised it remembering how weird that must have looked. _What kind of person looks nervous over a baby shower?_ The last thing he wanted to do was raise suspicion. That would mean he would have to talk about it. Which could mean that other people would find out. "Yeah, go ahead and knock."

Sazh eyed him weirdly and knocked harshly on the door. Hard footsteps could be heard approaching, and soon, the door swung open, revealing a truly ecstatic looking Snow. Unlike Sazh, Snow looked a little different. Older wasn't it…or mature; he still had that same optimistic smile plastered on his face. Hope decided that he just looked more _tired_, which seemed slightly impossible to him since all of them were extremely tired all the time when they were l'cie. _Are babies that much work?_ He wasn't really looking forward to the prospect yet.

"Hey!" The tall blond man hugged Sazh ruthlessly and then Dajh, laughing, "Boy, isn't it great to finally see you guys!"He gestured for them all to enter the house when he noticed Hope standing slightly behind them. He raised his eyebrows in confusion, "Hey, you. This is a private party."

Hope scratched his head, "Um…Snow…"

"Just kidding" He pulled the teenager into a firm hug, "Jeez, Hope, you're tall."

"I'm still a lot shorter than you." That was most certainly true. Snow was practically a giant to him back in the day, but he supposed the gap between them did diminish a little. "But, thanks for noticing, I guess."

"Four years is definitely too long not to see someone." Snow patted his back and then turned back into the house, "Just think about it. Four years from now, you could be married too."

Hope laughed, "Doubtful." He shook off his sneakers as he walked on to the hard tile floors of the parlor.

"Hey, you never know. Serah was your age when she married me."

Now he hadn't thought about that. Could he really feel so committed to someone at such a young age? A part of him felt like he still had so much growing up left to do before he could ever really reach that step. "She was obviously more mature than I am."

"Eh, maybe." This voice was higher. Hope looked past Snow's broad shoulders to see Serah walking towards them, a small bundle nestled between her arms. "But I don't really think it was my age that made me ready." She smiled and handed Snow the delicate bundle of pink blankets. "I think it was Snow."

The comment immediately made the blond man smile and lean down to kiss his wife's cheek. "Of course. It's all about the right person."

Hope rolled his green eyes in disbelief. Was he really having this conversation _now_? "Is that Eira?" He moved closer to Serah, eagerly welcoming the change in conversation.

"Mhm. Want to hold her?"

"Oh…I don't…" But the small baby was immediately pushed into his hands. Hope wiggled his nostrils at the smell permeating from the blanket, but was soon distracted by the tiny white person he was clumsily carrying. Eira had sharp blue eyes with rosy, chubby cheeks. She was perfectly bald too, making her look more like a small old person than an actual baby to Hope.

"Good job. A dad in the making!" Snow hit his back harshly, almost causing him to fall forward. "I'm going to show Sazh and Dajh their room. Be back!" He waved off and headed deeper into the house.

Serah fell back on a nearby chair, looking exhausted, "I thought trying to figure out my focus was hard, but really…" She gestured back to the baby, "She's a little bit of a handful."

But the baby was just laying there, looking at Hope rather curiously and blowing small spit bubbles from her drooling mouth. "She seems so calm."

"She's lovely now. And don't get me wrong, she's everything I ever wanted, but just wait for it." Serah wiped small beads of sweat from her brow and let out a large sigh, "Lightning should be here soon. I wonder what's keeping her…"

That's when the door knocked, causing Hope to immediately jump and Eira to break out into massive crying. Between his racing heart and the now screaming baby in his hands, Hope's mind couldn't think straight. He looked to the door and then to the baby, then back to the door, wondering which he would prefer to face more. Luckily, Serah made the decision for him. "I'll take Eira. If you could just get the door? It's probably just my sister." Her nose crumpled a little as she took the baby. "Shhhh…someone's a stinky-winky…"

Her voice was soon disappearing as Serah left the front parlor, leaving Hope alone. With the door. With the person _behind _the door. _Maybe I can just wait_. But that plan soon left his mind. The knocking was loud and quick, and soon there was a voice. "Serah! Snow! Open up! I can't exactly …"

He swung the door open before he could think anymore about it. Hope imagined his breath dropping, or maybe even his legs falling to bits at the near sight of her. He pictured his heart throbbing so strongly it would make his chest hurt and eyes swell, but none of those feelings were currently occupying his body. Hope, strangely, only felt calm standing in front of her. He felt _safe_, which was a little weird because he wasn't exactly in a dangerous situation. But that was really the only word he could use. _Maybe I'm over her._

The thought made him happy, knowing that would only mean less disappointment for him in the future. Lightning wobbled in through the front door. She was taking her time, carrying a large cardboard box that was blocking her front view. _Or maybe it's just because I can't see her._

"Snow, don't just stand there." She pushed the box into Hope's hands without even looking and wiped her forehead. "For a cake feeding less than 10 people, it's pretty…" He couldn't exactly see her reaction. But her wavering voice did scare him a little. "…Are you?" Lightning reached for the box again, taking it away from Hope's face and placing it on the floor next to them. "…Hope?"

Her blue eyes gleamed at the sight of him, and she immediately smiled and dragged him closer to her, "Look at you!" She pulled his head to rest against her shoulder, which hurt a little since now Hope was a little taller than her. But he certainly didn't mind this position. His cheeks rubbed softly against the faint pinkish hue of her hair, and he felt so…so…

There it was. The wobbly legs, the rush of blood, the dry, cracking feeling piercing his throat. He was not over Lightning Faron. Oh no. Hope pushed her away gently and took a step back, "Hey, Light."

She was still smiling, which got to him a little. _Is she really that happy to see me_? Her smile became contagious. "I thought you weren't coming."

"What gave you that idea?"

Lightning's smile faded, "The fact that you never really RSVP'd." She picked up the box from the floor and walked further into the kitchen.

Hope could only follow, "Four years is a long time not to see anyone." He found himself quoting Snow.

She nodded slowly while placing the tall box on the counter. He couldn't help but keep his green eyes targeted on her, making him feel like some creep. _But she's just…_

At 25, Lightning didn't really look a day older than when she was 21. Her skin was still incredibly pale, but framed wildly by her pink-blonde hair. Her blue eyes stood out clearly on her face, drawing most of Hope's little attention. The only thing that really seemed different about her was her clothes. He hadn't really seen her in anything else besides her Guardian Corps uniform, and she wasn't exactly wearing anything that fancy now, only a tan skirt and black tank top. But it still made him feel flushed. "Yeah it is." She crossed her arms and leaned back on the counter, staring at him.

_Why is she doing that?_ But he didn't want to let his mind wander that way. "Um…is there anything to drink?"

"Sure." Lightning turned from the counter and walked back to fridge "You want water? Juice? Soda?"

"Give him a beer, Sis." Snow walked from the stairs towards the giant box. "Thanks for picking up the cake by the way."

Hope waited for her to yell at him about her nickname, but Lightning surprisingly didn't say a word about it. _I guess it's true now_. "I can't give him a beer."

The teenager walked closer to her. It was weird to him that he was taller, "Actually that sounds good."

"But Hope…"

"What?" Snow went through his own fridge and handed him a bottle, "He's eighteen, Lightning. It's perfectly legal." The tall blond cracked a smile and touched her shoulder, "Looks like the little hero grew up, huh?"

Hope turned away at that and took the bottle willingly. He waited for Lightning to respond, but she didn't. She didn't say anything at all, and her gaze was completely directed away from him. After what seemed like a more than generous pause, she finally spoke, "I should talk to Serah…" and left the room.

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**A/N:**

***yawns* so sleepy...and it's not even that late. just wanted to get this part out for you guys! I'll get started on chapter 3 tomorrow :D**

**hope you enjoyed! (seriously. no pun intended...i used to say it all the time.)  
**

**-ASX  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

**Hi guys! Glad I could come back so soon :D**

**Another special thanks to all my reveiwers from last time! You guys all deserve chocolate or something else equally delicious :)**

**Disclaimer: I own none of FF13, but I do enjoy writing about it**

**This one's a little bit of a cliffhanger by the way...  
**

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The silver haired boy blinked at her sudden exit, a little surprised. "Is she okay?"

Snow just scratched his head and turned to the refrigerator, grabbing another beer for himself. "Eh…you know Lightning. Always has to run around doing something. She's probably just checking out the logistics."

"Logistics? For what?"

"Where you're staying." Snow sighed, "Apparently Dajh is too big now to fit in the guest room with Sazh, so he's going on the couch. And the only other room in the house is the baby's… which I wouldn't exactly recommend."

Hope waved it off, "Don't worry about it. I'll leave after the party." That might have been for the best anyway. _The quicker I can get away from Lightning the better._ Hope could already feel himself starting to crack, something he couldn't afford to do at all. The thought made him start to guzzle his beer. He wasn't really too accustomed to the taste, not really being a heavy drinker at all, but it did have some sort of calming effect.

"Alright…but you'll have to tell Serah. She had all kinds of plans for the weekend." Snow took another swig from his beer. "Help me with this cake, will you? Once NORA gets here, the party will begin."

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_That was weird._

It was the only thing she could say about it. The only thing she could let herself think. Lightning turned the corner of the banister on the second floor, heading straight to where she knew her sister would be. "Sorry I'm late."

Serah was placing down Eira quietly on the changing table, "Don't worry about it. You usually never are. Long line?"

"Yeah…a little." Lightning watched her sister briefly before retreating back to the white rocking chair in the corner. She just sat there nervously. The thoughts running through her mind were…not welcomed. They seemed practically disturbing, but at the same time…

"What's wrong, Claire?"

"Nothing," She huffed a little too quickly.

Serah didn't turn but reached to grab a clean diaper. "I think I know you better than to listen to that. Did something happen when you were out?"

"No, nothing happened, Serah. Don't worry about it."

The younger sister shrugged, "If you say so." She picked up the freshly cleaned baby and placed her into her aunt's arms. "Did you see Sazh and Dajh? I was just going to set up the guest room for them."

"No, I didn't. How are they?" Lightning's blue eyes were focused downwards at the small baby laughing in her arms.

"They look great. Dajh certainly grew up a lot. I can't believe it. I didn't think that much time passed."

Lightning scoffed, "Neither did I."

"I thought you didn't see them." Serah's confusion turned into a smile, "Oh! You saw Hope, didn't you?" She took advantage over Lightning's lack of response. "He looks good, doesn't he? I didn't think he'd grow so tall."

Lightning nodded, feigning distraction with the baby.

"It's so strange." Serah laughed a little bit, "Here I am with a baby, Hope's an adult…time does past so quickly. It seems like Snow proposed only yesterday."

_He's an adult now?_ Lightning nodded and rested the soon to be napping baby on her left shoulder. _He was just fourteen the last time I saw him…_ "I feel old."

Lightning wasn't really sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn't this. She didn't think her sister would suddenly burst out in a loud fit of laughter at that comment. Serah finally calmed down after what seemed to be 5 minutes of perpetual amusement. "You're 25!"

_That's right…I'm seven years older than him. _"It's just. You're married with a baby. The kid can drink alcohol…"

"Well, he's not really a kid anymore."

Lightning ignored that, "And I'm still living in the same house exactly as I was four years ago." Her blue eyes glanced back at her sister, who suddenly appeared sad. Lightning stood up from the rocking chair, still cradling the baby, and walked over to Serah, "Is something wrong?"

Serah just shook her head, "You're so good with Eira." She held out her hands for permission, and Lightning obliged, carefully passing the baby on to her mother. "I didn't know though."

"What?" Lightning crossed her arms, a little confused. " What didn't you know?"

"That you were lonely."

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NORA did eventually get there, cueing Snow to turn on the stereo and break out even more alcohol and food. They actually had a pretty nice spread. There was an assortment of appetizers from small quiches, to potato puffs, and, of course, the less classy canned cheese on crackers. Hope didn't feel like eating anything. He didn't really feel like _doing_ anything either. Lebreau and Gadot were talking with Sazh, Dajh was amusing himself in front of the TV, and Snow and Serah were talking with Maqui while setting up more dishes on the kitchen counter.

_Where's Lightning?_

It was a perfectly innocent question. He hadn't seen her since she left to find Serah, and now Serah was downstairs again without her. The question was perfectly reasonable, not obsessive in the least. _I'm not obsessed with her_.

Just because all his thoughts started and ended with images of her didn't mean anything. Her happiness being his sole concern in the world couldn't possible mean that he was obsessed. Nope. No way. He was definitely not obsessed with Lightning Farr-

"Hope!"

He turned eagerly to see Sazh walking towards him, "Hey Sazh, um, enjoying the party?"

"Yeah, it's nice catching up with them." Sazh crossed his arms and leaned back on the wall Hope was also standing against, "Have you seen Lightning?"

For some reason, Hope suddenly became defensive. "What makes you say that?"

Sazh narrowed his eyes at the boy and scratched the back of his neck, "Well, I don't know. I just haven't. No need to get angry there."

"I'm not…"

"I guess you haven't seen her then. Must be the reason for all that pent up frustration you got going on."

Hope gulped a bit, afraid of what exactly Sazh knew about him. He tried to remember their adventures together, but nothing exactly led to the conclusion that Hope may have a _slight_ crush on her. Sazh wasn't there at the Gapra Whitewood (which was a good thing because it probably wouldn't have been that good of memory if he had been). Sazh didn't see how she hugged him when Hope told her Operation Nora was over. Or how she was the reason he was able to defeat Alexander and not quit. There was no way he could possibly have any idea. _So then what is he talking about_? Hope let his curiosity get the better of him, "Frustration from what?"

"Well, Hope, I was a teenager once. I know what it's like to have a crush on someone who doesn't…"

Hope froze. "…What?" Even his voice sounded icy.

"Hey, kid. I don't mean to lecture you or anything. I just want to let you know that you're not the only one who goes through this."

He feigned confusion, "Go through what? What are you talking about? I'm not frustrated. I don't have a crush on anyone." Hope self consciously lowered his voice to an exaggerated whisper. "Especially…you think I…and Light…"

"It's really okay, Hope. I may be old, but I'm not stupid." Sazh laughed a bit at this, "You're really wound up about this, aren't you?"

Hope ran his hand through his silver hair, "Can we talk about this somewhere else?" He couldn't believe how easily he gave up on the charade, but a part of him was tired of hiding it. _Maybe Sazh can help me. __And he's right...I only have a crush on her.__  
_

"Sure, kid." Sazh turned and yelled to Dajh, who was sitting happily on the couch, "Hey, son. I'm going to go upstairs and show Hope some of our photos. You'll be okay?"

The young boy nodded his head, too distracted by the TV to pay them much attention.

* * *

"So I'm basically screwed."

"Look, Hope…"

The teenager fell back on the guest bed, his hands grasping at the shorter ends of his hair. "I'm stupid. This whole thing is stupid!"

"You sure you still like her?" Sazh asked, a little concern tinted in his voice.

"Yeah…I mean, how could I not? She looks just as beautiful as she did four years ago." Hope sat up at that, "Wait, that isn't the right thing to say at all, is it? What should I do? Tell myself she's old? That there are other girls out there my age that I should be dating?"

Sazh nodded, "Yeah…you could try that."

"I have tried that! Nothing works! And I knew I shouldn't have come here…it only got worse. Now that I've seen her… I only remember things better. All I want to do is spend time with her now, see if she's changed, if she's happy, if she'll give me…"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on there." Sazh held up his hands, distracting Hope's thoughts, "Do you actually think you have a chance?"

The immediate response in Hope's head was, of course, no. In his mind, no one deserved a chance with her. Especially him. _But why especially me?_ His green eyes flashed at that idea. _I don't know what she thinks._ "I…don't know."

Sazh sighed and held his head in his hand, "Okay…I think well, the first thing you gotta do is figure out if you want to tell her."

"I want to tell her." The extreme sincerity in his voice surprised both him and Sazh. "I mean, I have to. I can't go on just thinking about it. I need to take action." A sudden phrase just came back to him, "I just have to."

"Well then," Sazh sat next to him on the bed. "I think the first step is admitting it to yourself first."

Hope blinked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, it'll be easier to say to her the more times you say it, right?" Sazh stood up again and gestured for Hope to follow. He walked Hope over to the door, where the full length mirror hung. "Just say it slowly to yourself."

Hope turned to look at Sazh, more out of discomfort from the image in front of him than actually confusion. "…Do I have to?"

"Hey, I can't force you to do anything." Sazh backed away from Hope and sat back down on the bed. "But how are you gonna tell her if you can't even say it out loud to yourself?"

He did have a point there. Hope sighed and brushed his hair back. He tried to imagine himself alone, without Sazh there, but that wasn't helping. Then he tried to picture nothing at all, but that was also useless. He then imagined that Lightning was standing there, right in front of him, with that faint smile of hers, and the words finally began to come out. "Lightning Farron…" He stopped, realizing how stupid that sounded, "Light, I think I love you."

* * *

Serah had only asked her to put on new sheets. That was it. She shouldn't have distracted herself with the baby. She shouldn't have distracted herself with a lot of things, but her she was, putting in sheets later than when she was supposed to only to hear…

_What did I just hear?_

The voice was unmistakable. She could recognize it anywhere. She trained herself to know his voice just in case he ever called for her or needed her when he wasn't in plain sight.

But what he said…that wasn't right.

Lightning blinked and closed her eyes, testing herself to see if she understood the words correctly. _Did he just say…_

She turned from the door and dropped the clean sheets haphazardly on an open chair next to the guest bedroom. The words were still entrenching her brain, making her feel slightly dizzy. _Did Hope just say he loved me?_

_

* * *

_**A/N:**

**:D Thanks guys for reading! And please review! It'll mean the world to me, and a happy writer means a productive writer!!**

**-ASX  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**

**I'm back! So soon too! It's all thanks to the great amount of feedback I got from the last chapter (you guys are awesome!). Coupled with a few hours of free time...and here you go!**

**This one's kind of interesting as well...**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still doesn't belong to me. The story does though!  
**

* * *

His brief pep talk with Sazh, if anything, helped calm him down. He had a direction now. He knew what he was going to do, and all he had to do was work out a few, um, minor details. Sure, it would be easy to just walk right up to her, admit his feelings, and leave it at that. But Hope knew that wasn't exactly what he wanted. He could have told her how he felt years ago with the same kind of result.

But now…now he was older. Lightning might not laugh at him. She might actually _like_ the idea, which was a completely foreign thought to Hope. _You don't know how she feels_. That realization struck him tremendously. He doesn't know how she feels, and yes, he was pretty sure that four years ago Lightning did not have a crush on him (although Hope would have liked that, it may have been a little awkward…). But who's to say she couldn't change her mind?

_That's my new mission_. Though he didn't know how he would ever accomplish it. _I'll tell her I like her when I know for sure how she feels._

Hope made his way back down the stairs, a new found smile on his face. He sat next to Dajh, who was still sitting statuesque in front of the TV, trying to organize the never-ending stream of thoughts swarming his brain.

There were only two options as far as Hope was concerned. One was (and this one was by far his favorite), that he somehow gets Lightning to realize her feelings for him, and they both admit their undying love for each other.

The other was that Hope relentlessly does romantic gesture after romantic gesture until Lightning finally gets suspicious, calls him out on it, and he's forced to admit how he feels. And he was pretty sure that option would turn out very horribly.

It was also, probably, the more realistic situation, which made Hope have to wonder. _How do I get her to like me without being obvious?_

"You okay there?"

Hope blinked at Sazh, breaking his thoughts. He didn't speak though, just in case Sazh was talking to his son and not him.

"Hey, Hope? You dazed or something?"

"What? Oh, no." Hope sat up from the couch and walked around to the other side to talk to Sazh. "What's up?"

"Just checking on you. Got something figured out?"

Hope sighed, "Er…sort of."

"Well you better figure it out soon. Your train leaves tonight, right?"

He hadn't thought about the time crunch. It was surely impossible to get Lighting to fall in love with him in one night, especially because she was still nowhere to be seen. "I think I'm staying actually."

"You're staying Hope! Great!" Snow walked over, catching only the end of their conversation. "We'll work out where you're sleeping after we play the game."

Hope backed away a little, "What game?"

"Eh, just a little game Serah put together, come on."

Everyone else was already gathering around the empty space between the couch and the kitchen. NORA was already sitting on the floor, and soon Dajh and Sazh joined them. Serah was still standing, holding Eira. "Where's my sister?"

"She'll be down here eventually." Snow waved her off and grabbed a small basket on the glass side table. "Now, I'm assuming everyone knows how to play charades?"

The group nodded and Hope sat down towards the outer end. Whatever slight nervousness he had soon left him. They were just going to play a little game, and Lighting wasn't even down here. Snow continued, "Awesome, we'll divide into groups then."

Serah didn't want to play, it not being easy to move around while holding the baby. That left Snow and the rest of NORA on one team and Sazh, Dajh, and Hope on the other. Hope didn't comment how they were at an extreme disadvantage. Not only were they down a player, but Sazh wasn't exactly too good at these sorts of things.

Snow volunteered to go first, and his team got it easy enough. A quick gesture of starting an engine and Maqui immediately screamed motorcycle.

Sazh then offered to go, pulling out a slip of white paper from the basket. "…Oh, let's see uh…" He held up one finger.

"One word?"

Sazh nodded at Hope's guess and held out his arms and started running around the room.

The teenager stifled his laugh, ignoring how ridiculous Sazh looked. They were on a slight time constraint. "Plane?"

Sazh kept going, that obviously not being the answer.

"Um…pilot?"

Not right either. Hope started to wish Sazh would do something else, but he just kept going, running around the room in small circles.

Serah glanced at her watch, "20 seconds!"

"Bird!"

Sazh halted a bit at this and nodded his head, but then just kept on going.

_A type of bird?_

"10 seconds..."

_But what bird is one word and can fly? _"Parakeet, robin, crow, um…"

All no's.

"5 seconds!"

Dajh just sat there quietly, not offering Hope any advice.

"4, 3, 2, 1…sorry guys. Time's up."

The bird-man sat down, a little frustrated. "You were so close! Why didn't you keep guessing?"

Hope shrugged, "What were you?"

"A chocobo!"

_What?_ "Sazh…chocobos don't fly. Well, maybe yours did a couple of times, but not generally."

"Hey, it was the best I could do."

Hope nodded, knowing that was the truth.

NORA guessed right again, signaling that this game was certainly just going to go downhill from here. It was Hope's turn now, and he was just about to quit, to make the teams even, when footsteps could be heard.

"There you are!" Serah immediately left the game and walked towards the staircase. She intercepted Lighting quickly, and the two started chatting a bit. Serah then grabbed her hand and directed her to the floor, "It'll be fun. We'll only play a few more rounds before cake."

The former soldier didn't look too amused at all, but she sat down on the ground next to Hope, albeit reluctantly. "Let's just get this over with."

"Right." Hope stood up and grabbed a piece of paper from the basket. "You'll be on our team, okay Light?"

She didn't look at him directly, but nodded her head nevertheless. _ What's up with her_?

Hope ignored it and read the slip. _Knife. Okay then. _ He held up a single finger.

"Umm…first word!" Sazh said immediately.

Hope shook his head.

"One word then." Sazh smiled seeing that Hope agreed. "Alright Hope, we got this."

Hope cracked a smile and then quickly made a stabbing motion to his chest, knocking him down to the ground. He thought he saw Lightning tense up a little when his back made a hard noise on the floor, but then again, he was probably just being delusional.

"Die! Hurt! Stab!"

"All such happy words, huh Sazh?" Snow cracked a grin. "Your time's running out guys."

Hope got up from the ground and pointed to his hand, which was in a clasp shape, as if he were holding a hilt.

"Sword? Weapon?"

The teenager shook his head at Sazh's wrong guesses.

"10 seconds guys," Serah muttered.

Another idea hit him. It was a little hopeless to try and get Sazh to guess, so Hope directed this to Lightning. He pointed to Serah, then to her, and then back to him and his hand.

It barely took Lightning a second to get it, "…Knife."

Hope nodded, and Sazh grinned, "Great! Good job Lightning."

She cracked a slight smile and directed her attention back downwards, not paying any attention to Hope. But he couldn't have that. "Good guess, Light."

"It was obvious."

Hope scratched his silver hair and leaned back on his arm, "Yeah, well I guess I was just happy you remembered it."

"Of course I do. It wasn't that long ago." Lightning stood up, crossing her arms and barely glancing an inch in the teenager's direction. "Serah, want me to go get the baby's bib? We'll do cake now."

Serah nodded, "Okay. I'll come with you."

The two women left the room and headed up the stairs, leaving Snow to get out the cake. Sazh stood up and patted Hope on the shoulder, "Good luck with that one."

"Yeah…thanks." Hope stood up and brushed away the wrinkles in his pants. _I'll need it._

_

* * *

_

"No."

"Lightning..."

"No, absolutely not."

Serah rocked the baby softly in her arms, "But I don't understand…why not? You like Hope." Her younger sister smiled mischievously, "And if I understood him correctly, you like him enough to give him my birthday present."

Lightning turned away, letting her pink bangs cover the majority of her eyes, "That was before…"

"Before? Before what?"

She didn't answer. She couldn't answer. What was it? Was it before she overheard him talking? Or was it before he…before he…"Why can't he stay here?"

"There's no room for him Claire. And I'd think he'd prefer staying with you over NORA."

Lightning snuffed. _Probably considering…_ "I just don't know about this."

"You'll enjoy the company."

"Not this 'I'm lonely' thing again. Serah, I'm fin…"

"Sure, you're fine. Perfectly fine." Serah was headed towards the doorway, "So you won't mind taking Hope in…if you're _fine_."

Lightning sensed herself start to stammer, "But…"

But Serah was already resigned to the set up, "I mean, just think about it this way. He'll remind you of the past. That might make you feel less old, won't it?" She laughed at that, but quickly stopped seeing Lightning's less than amused expression. "Look, Claire, unless you have some really legitimate reason why you can't take Hope for a couple of nights, I really hope you will. It's hard enough taking care of a new baby, and now with two other people in the house…it would really be a huge help."

She was still tempted to say no. A large part of her knew it would be easier that way. But who would it be easier for exactly? Just her, which was too overwhelming selfish. _Besides, this is Hope we're talking about. Just Hope. _ Though that thought wasn't helping her out at all. "Fine."

* * *

"That's…one giant cake, Snow." Hope eyed the five tier cake in slight awe. It was frosted white with different sets of pink piping lining the outer tiers. On the base of some of the layers were tiny baby's blocks, and on the top sat a small, edible stuffed carbuncle.

"Only the best for my little Eira." Snow's smile only grew as the Serah walked into the kitchen, baby in her arms. "And there she is. Should we sing now?"

Lightning smirked, trailing behind her sister, "For what? Her 0th birthday?"

"How about we just say something?" Hope suggested.

Serah nodded at that idea, "Okay! We can all say a little something while Snow cuts the cake!"

Snow obliged and started passing out pieces while Serah started, "I want to thank everyone for coming here. Especially Sazh, Dajh, and Hope, who traveled so far to be with us. I know Eira can't thank you now, but I'm sure one day she'll be so grateful for the great family she's been blessed with." Serah then turned to her left, "Lightning?"

"Eira's a good kid with good parents. She'll be fine." Lightning turned and looked at the audience, seeing that they all expected more. She didn't offer anything else, but just reached for a slice of cake in front of her.

"You have a way with words, Sis." Snow laughed, "Well, guess it's my turn then. As my lovely wife said, thank you all for coming. I hope, Sazh, Dajh, and Hope, that you have a much better time in Bodhum than you did last time…though that shouldn't exactly be hard to beat." Snow paused a bit, seemingly thinking. "Then again…if all that didn't happen, we wouldn't have all met. And then we'd all be a little unhappier, right Lightning?"

It wasn't exactly clear to Hope why, but for whatever the reason, Lightning suddenly dropped her cake and fork, clasping for her throat. Snow immediately stopped his speech, but Serah started screaming. "She's choking! Call the ambulance!" The baby started crying as well, sensing something was wrong

Lightning fell harshly on her knees, her oxygen supply desperately cut short. Her hands moved away from her throat and to her stomach, but it all seemed futile.

Desperation and panic were the only two things Hope could think of. "Here!" He dug through his pocket and grabbed out his cell phone, passing the small device to Sazh. "Call the medics." He then rushed over and kneeled next to the fallen soldier, "Light…Light…can you talk?"

She shook her head furiously, tears beginning to stream out of her eyes. The air was slowly leaving her, and Hope knew she would faint any minute now.

"Hello? Hello?" Sazh was yelling, and the other members of NORA were rushing to their own phones, while Lebreau went to get a glass of water for Lightning. "Damn it…they're not picking up!"

"How can they not?" Hope brushed her pink hair back that was currently sticking to her face from the sudden flash of sweat. "I'll try not to hurt you, okay?" But she wasn't really paying attention anymore. Her once strong body was now practically lifeless. It took Hope some, but not all, of his strength to haul her up, where he placed his arms around her back and to her stomach. He forced his fists into an upward motion until the tiny bits of cake and frosting seemed to get dislodged.

But that wasn't the end of it.

Lightning's eyes were still closed, and even though nothing was really blocking her air pipe, she still wasn't breathing. Through all the panic and the worry, Hope tried to keep himself calm. _Just breathe. Just do it._ He locked his fingers together and started compressions on her chest after laying her flat on her back. Hope then moved his head up to hers, where he paused.

_Just two breaths. _

He locked his lips on to hers, so tightly, not because, yeah, he's been waiting to have contact with her like this for a long time, but because he needed an air tight seal if he wanted it to work. Hope slowly let a stream of air fill her mouth, trying to refocus his attention, not on how soft her lips felt on his, but on actually _saving_ her.

Hope unlocked himself from her and looked up for a brief second. Another inhale of breath, and he was back over Lightning, probably enjoying himself a little too much for an emergency. His lips were hovering millimeters over hers when a sudden gasp stopped him.

"…Hope?"

"Light!" He sat up immediately, forgetting whatever embarrassment he should have been feeling in the sheer excitement of her safety. "How are you?"

Lightning coughed a little before sitting up as well. Her light blue eyes darted to Hope and then back to the ground, "I'll get back to you on that."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Thanks guys for reading! Let's see if you can beat the review record from last time...**

**But really, I just hope you enjoyed it!**

**-ASX  
**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N:

T_T I know. I suck. I suck a whole lot. try not to kill me? please? I'll be perfectly honest, I kind of forgot about this whole story, but I've been getting a lot of notifications of people really wanting me to update, so I updated :D

I'm sorry. So sorry. :(

disclaimer: nope, even since that month and half that I didn't update, I somehow didn't manage to earn the rights to FF13. I'll keep trying.

* * *

"Of course, Hope comes to the rescue. Best medic we have!" Snow patted him on the back and then offered Lightning his hand, "You okay there, sis?"

She flashed him a rather harsh glare, "Yeah…perfect." Her voice was soaked in sarcasm.

So was his, "Must have been some pretty tricky cake you were eating there."

Lightning took his hand to help her up, but instead dragged Snow down to the floor, "Watch yourself, Snow." She stood up casually and brushed herself off, "Don't want any slip ups."

Snow smirked a bit and then repositioned himself on the floor. Hope offered him his hand since Lightning seemed less than willing, "Here Snow."

"Thanks Hope. That one seems a little temperamental." Snow pointed over to Light who was a little behind them now, half apologizing to Serah for making her husband fall on his face. "Some people just don't like the truth."

Hope's green eyes widened, more in confusion than anything else. "Eh?"

"Don't mind him." Lightning came back over, blue eyes still glaring at her brother in law. "The idiot has to stop getting so many head injuries." Her sudden look caught him off balance. "Where's your stuff?"

"It's still in the entrance way…" A sudden fear hit him. _Does she want me to leave_? "But, Light, I think I am going to stay the weekend…"

"I know." Lightning waved to the crowd of people behind them. "Let's go."

"…Go?" The word was caught in his throat, making him sound like he was still on his way through puberty. _Not what I needed_. "Where are we going?" His mind raced. _Night time stroll on the beach? Romantic restaurant? Movies? Your-_

"My house."

He felt his cheeks burn and knew the red flush was coming. He directed his head downwards, "Right now?"

"Yeah…bye guys." Lightning turned from him and gave a slight wave.

"Leaving already, Claire?" Serah walked over to them, baby still in hand.

"Yeah…it's getting late."

Snow sniffed, "It's only 9:30."

"Yeah, late. Hope's probably tired already, right?"

The teenager found himself wanting to scream at that. _Should I just whip out my ID and show her?_ Hope wasn't a kid anymore. Heck, he didn't even have a real bedtime when he was fourteen. "Nah, I'm used to stay up really late. But if you're tired, Light, I get it. You must get sleepier when you're old."

Lightning's eyes immediately tensed.

_Oh crap._

Hope didn't want to look at her, but looking at Serah wasn't any better. Her mouth was making that 'oh-Eden-I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that' look, and he was pretty sure Snow was surprised Hope was still standing. So was he.

He was even more surprised that Lightning didn't say anything, didn't say as much as a 'let's go' or 'you're sleeping on the street'. It was only when she was halfway out the door that she turned around, took his duffel bag and stomped out.

_Like it wasn't hard enough…_ Hope tried not to look too upset, but, really, he was torn. How could he have said that to her? How the hell did he think that was a good thing to say at all?

Sazh patted his shoulder, "I hate to say it Hope but…"

"I know." He shook his head, silver hair covering most of his face. "I'm an idiot."

He was glad he never took off his shoes. It made the sprint out the door that much faster.

"Wait!" Hope ran down the sidewalk, streetlights flashing at his speed. "Hold up!" _How does she walk so fast?_ "Light!"

She stopped at that, almost instinctively. Hope thought he could see her shake her head. But she answered him nevertheless, without turning around. "What?"

Hope slowed his pace to a jog and finally stopped as he maneuvered himself in front of her. She backed away a bit when he touched her shoulders, but he didn't let his grip loosen. "That was a stupid thing to say."

She shrugged him off, not before pushing his duffel bag into his chest. "No it wasn't."

_What?_ He expected her to bite his head off, not this. "Wait, what?"

"It wasn't." Lightning kept walking forward, a slower pace this time.

Hope followed, "Light, you're not…"

"I am though." Her hair was wild, covering her pale shoulders completely. Hope wasn't exactly sure what was going on. He had never seen her like this... never truly…_ Is she sad?_ "I'm twenty five, Hope."

He wanted to laugh, but knew that wouldn't be called for. "That's not old."

"Ye…" She turned for the rebuttal, but for some reason stopped herself. Her fragility seemed to last only an instant, and now, she was back to herself: strong, almost impenetrable. "Let's just keep going."

* * *

"You can sleep here." She tossed his duffel bag on the floor aimlessly and walked further in the room, removing some pillows from the big bed. "This used to be Serah's room, so sorry for the color scheme."

"That's okay." Hope moved into the room, a little sad that Lightning was already turning to leave. _I guess she's still a little mad. _This wasn't the way he wanted things to go at all. _You're supposed to get her to __**love**__ you, Hope, not have her despise your existence._ He shook his head, "Hey Light."

"What, Hope?" Her words were slow and so icy sounding. Hope wanted to just turn around and leave her, but he knew that wouldn't help his cause in the slightest.

"Thank you."

She shrugged, "I couldn't let you sleep on the street."

"No, no…not for staying here…although that was really nice of you…I meant, for everything. For everything that happened four years ago. I don't think I ever really told you..."

"Hope!" Her raised voice cut him off sharply. Lightning coughed seeing his surprised expression. "It's really okay. I did what I could for you. Get some rest okay? I'll be right next door if you need me."

She shouldn't have told him that. Hope locked the door after Lightning left, and painfully tried to convince himself that she was not lying on a bed less than 3 yards away from him.

* * *

She never did need an alarm. Her brain was like clockwork, effortlessly waking her up at the exact time she had planned. Lightning glanced at the clock on her wall. _9:30. Perfect._ There would be just enough time to take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and meet Serah and the others on the boardwalk by 10:30.

Lightning felt uneasy twisting herself out of bed. She rubbed the crust under her eyelids harshly and scratched her hair, trying to figure out why she felt so…so…funny.

Then it hit her.

Her dream.

_Oh Eden. I didn't._ Her reflection embarrassed her. She couldn't believe she was _blushing,_ not at that. Lightning fanned her face and started pacing, _pacing_, like she was a teenager all over again. _Do you know who __**is**__a teenager? HE IS. There is no way, Lightning. No possible way you could ever. .._

The sound of a faucet running threw her. A part of her, and she really had absolutely no idea where that part came from, wanted to go in there.

And apparently, that part of her was really strong, because she found herself in front of the bathroom door, her hand already touching the cold, silver doorknob. _What are you doing Lightning?_

The shower water was still running, and she half thought, what could be the harm in entering? She _did _need her toothbrush after all. Before her thoughts could even object, Lightning's hand was already turning the knob. _Just a quick grab for the toothbrush. That's it. And then…_

"LIGHT!"

"HOPE?"

She immediately covered her eyes, glancing to see that Hope was _not_ in the shower. "What are you doing out of the shower?"

"I don't know? Getting shampoo? What are you doing in the bathroom if you knew I was in the shower?" There was this weird sense of curiosity in his voice. It reminded her of what he had said yesterday….of what she should have been avoiding.

"I…I…I'm just getting my toothbrush." She felt around blindly for the object, making Hope laugh a little.

"You can uncover your eyes, Light."

She refused his offer and continued her search.

"It's really okay."

Lightning slowly peeled her fingers from her eyelids, cursing silently when she saw Hope was, like she had seen before, not clothed. He was, on the bright side, wearing a towel, but that still didn't cover the upper half of the body. She simply tried to ignore it and continued for her toothbrush.

"You look flushed."

She didn't amuse him with a smile. "It must be the water. It's hot."

Hope smirked. She didn't like it. "Here's your toothbrush." He grabbed the object, right on the counter, and she swiped it greedily.

"Thanks…I'll be…"

"Light!" He smiled at how fast she turned, "You forgot toothpaste."

* * *

A/N:

:(


	6. Chapter 6

A/N:

This update is a little quicker, no? Okay! First things first: thanks to everyone who read and reviewed chapter 5! As always, I really appreciate the time it takes to read a fanfic and review. A special thanks to my reviewers; I know how easy it easy just to skip that whole part, but, to be honest, it's what makes posting worthwhile.

And so I'm taking this opportunity to answer some reviewer questions (bare with me):

_Ointmentjar_: I wasn't going to go into detail (but maybe I will...) but I will tell you that it was not that innocent and most likely (and by that I mean most definitely) about Hope.

_Hari-chan15_: sad face was because I felt sorry for delaying this story so long.

Also, thanks: _ssnw_, _actionliker_, _busard_, _CloudRed1988_, _RinoaShadow_, _LucksFullmoon_, _Kokomo7, _and _dattebayo1213_

As always, I hope you like it!_  
_

* * *

To say breakfast was awkward would only be the tip of a very, very, very large iceberg. Though, to Lightning's extreme surprise, this awkwardness appeared to be incredibly one sided. Hope just continued to shovel spoonful after spoonful of cereal in his mouth, acting like this was just any other day, that Lightning had not just walked in on him perfectly naked.

_It's no big deal_.

At least, it shouldn't have been a big deal. So what? She saw his chest. Okay. It wasn't like she had never seen it before. If Hope ever got an injury there four years ago, of course she would help him tend to the wound. _But he wasn't….he didn't…_

"Light?"

She blinked furiously, realizing to her utter disgust that she had been staring at him. Lightning dug through her untouched cereal, "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

That was a loaded question. She decided to avoid it completely. "We have to get ready soon, Hope."

"Well good thing I already showered."

She flicked her head down afraid of an impending blush. _What is wrong with you, Lightning Farron?_ She looked back up to Hope, only to see his bright green eyes staring at her openly.

"Do you miss Serah?"

"Of course I do."

Hope nodded at her straight answer. "You miss her a lot?"

"You already know the answer to that." Lightning got up from the table, accepting that there was no way she could eat her cereal. "But I'm fine, Hope. I know she's safe. I don't want her back here."

He looked confused at this. "But you're lonely."

That irked her for some reason, even more than when Serah said it. She was fine. She was strong and independent and she didn't need anyone, especially barely pubescent boys. Lightning didn't offer a reply. She simply threw her cereal bowl into the sink and walked out to take a shower, reminding herself to lock the bathroom door.

* * *

"How's things going?"

They had met Sazh on the boardwalk right in front of the little amusement park. Serah had thought it would be the perfect place to bring little Dajh, and Hope couldn't agree more. His mother had brought him there four years ago, and although he felt too old for it at the time, he was sure Dajh would like all the little rides and games it had to offer.

Hope sighed, watching as Lightning was slowly leading Dajh up to the ticket booth. He didn't really think she was one to be so thoughtful towards little kids, but he guessed being an aunt changed her. "If you mean with Light you may as well shoot me now."

Sazh patted his back, "Doubt things are that hopeless."

"No, they are. I mean, she seemed to have forgiven me for calling her old yesterday." He cringed at his own stupidity. "But this morning she would barely even look at me after she walked in on me."

That made Sazh's eyes narrow, "Walked in on you doing what?"

"Nothing! I mean…I was just about to shower when I realized she was out of shampoo, so I was just going to look through her linen closet when she just came in."

Sazh blinked, "Came in?"

"Yeah."

"While you were supposed to be in the shower?"

"Yeah, then at breakfast she barely even glanced an inch in my direction. And it wasn't like I was even _completely _naked, so I don't…"

"Hope." Sazh's calm voice stopped him. "That's good."

Hope raised an eyebrow, extremely doubtful. "What?"

"That's good. She doesn't think of you as a child anymore."

"Oh okay, then why doesn't she even look at me?"

Sazh shook his head, "She's embarrassed. She's probably, well…um, how do I put this…attracted to you."

It was one of those moments that, if Hope were drinking anything, it would have been splattered all over Sazh's face. Luckily for Sazh, Hope just stood there, dumbfounded. "She is?"

"Hell if I know. But if it gives you enough confidence to go up and talk to her, yeah she is."

Hope half smiled and scratched his silver hair. "Right. You're right. I'm going to tell her, no matter what. I'll just…try and convince her more." He waved gently to Sazh and ran up towards Lightning who quickly handed him a ticket. "Thanks, Light! But you didn't have to pay."

She shrugged, "We get a discount." Her eyes flashed to Dajh running back to his father with a spare ticket in his hand. "This place is more for kids anyway."

"So you expect I'll have a lot of fun then, huh?" He said slightly bitter.

Lightning shook her head, "Not really a hangout for eighteen year olds. Though if you want to go on the tea cups, be my guest."

The comment made him smile. Maybe Sazh was right, even though the man himself didn't fully believe it. Maybe Lightning was seeing him as an adult, as a man. "Want some cotton candy?"

"You're asking if I want a pound of sugar on a stick?" She looked at him grimly.

"I'll take that as a yes. Come on." He grabbed her hand quickly, not giving himself enough time to even think about her reaction to it, and dragged her over to a nearby cotton candy stand. The man at the stand smiled at them and handed Hope one fluffy pink pound of sugar. "Here you go!"

Lightning took the object cautiously. "Where's yours?"

He liked that fact that she didn't object to him paying for it. "I'm still full from breakfast. Go ahead, eat it."

She held the cotton candy awkwardly towards her mouth and got ready to take one giant bite out of it, when Hope touched her arm. "Not like that, Light. Rip off smaller pieces."

"Like this?" She held some fluff in her hand.

"Yeah…Light, have you never had cotton candy before?"

She didn't answer, but placed the fluff inside her mouth. Her hands immediately flew up from the impact. "Hope!" She was half smiling, "It's so sweet."

"Too sweet?" Hope wondered.

Lightning shook her head and looked at her hand for more. She immediately looked confused seeing that the cotton candy vanished from her hand. "What happened?"

He laughed seeing her look closely at the floor then back at her hands. "Light…" She was still looking. "Light, here…" He ran his hands through her hair, tugging softly at the paper stick and handing it back to her.

Her hands immediately reached for the spot in her hair. "Oh great." She glanced at the cotton candy and saw faint strands of pinkish blond. "Forget about this one."

"Here, I'll help you." He grabbed her hand again, though he had to admit she did hold on rather loosely, and placed her on a bench. Hope sat down next to her and started to pick out the little fluffs of pink sugar. "This would be so much easier if your hair wasn't pink."

"It's not pink. It's a strawberry blonde."

He smirked, "Right, Light."

"At least I don't have grey hair."

"It's a really light blonde!" Hope couldn't help but keep smiling. He didn't care that Lighting couldn't even see. Her eyes were facing the opposite way, giving him better access to her now sticky head. "And oh, so now I'm an old man?"

She shook her head, causing more strands of hair to be stuck in the goo. Hope sighed but let her speak. "Of course not."

"Well, I'm not a kid either, so where does that put me?"

He wanted to hear it from her, wanted her to say it, to convince him that she did see him differently, that there was a chance of them together. And maybe, he knew that a part of her still needed some convincing as well. "You're Hope."

"…yeah." He wasn't sure what to make of that.

"And you don't have to do this." She turned around again, blue eyes completely focused o n his green ones.

"I don't mind."

He half thought she was going to say that 'she did', but there was no more rebuttal from Lightning. Hope peeled the sugar from her hair, bit by bit, all the while watching her breath, watching her shoulders rise and fall. It slightly memorized him, slightly made his heart pump dangerously, but fully made his cotton candy picking job much slower. He wasn't sure if he minded.

"You okay guys?"

For once in his life, Hope really hated to hear Serah's voice. But he turned nevertheless, to the Villiers family. Snow was looking puzzlingly at Lightning, while Serah was just smiling and holding Eira gently. "They're fine Serah."

"Claire? What's in your hair?"

Hope gave a guilty smile, "…don't worry. It's just cotton candy. I'll get it out."

Snow immediately laughed, "Sis, you're eating cotton candy?"

"Bye Snow." Lightning waved him off.

"Fine, fine. We'll catch you guys for lunch in a couple of hours, okay? Bye Hope, Little Sis."

Hope caught her rolling her eyes and placed his hand in the middle of her back, making her flinch slightly upwards."You two still don't get along, huh?"

"He's just as big as an oaf as he was before." Lightning turned slightly, "You almost done, Hope?"

If he had the option, he'd never be done. "Yep, almost." _Okay…time to move things forward._ He gulped before continuing. "You have really nice hair, Light…I mean, when it isn't coated in sugar."

He wanted to look over, see if she was smiling, but Lightning's head was faced downwards. "ha, even though it's pink?"

"Especially because it's pink."

She froze for a second and then scooted herself up. "Thanks." Her voice was practically deadpan. "Come on, Hope. Let's find something to do."

Apparently, finding something to do in an amusement park built for eight year olds was very hard. Hope offered to win Lightning one of those stuff Carbuncles, but she refused. She didn't want him to waste so much money on something so simple. And the rides were nothing spectacular. The one ride he did go on, Hope got stuck next to ten year old that decided it was a good idea to bring a drink. At the first incline, that soda ended up all over Hope's shirt.

"Not disappointed I skipped that one."

"You sure? You could have sticky stuff all over your shirt to match your hair…"

Lightning smiled again and walked on. He wasn't sure he had ever seen her smile so much in one day. Then again, he never really saw Lightning in such a …_harmless_ setting before. It was nice.

What was bugging Hope more than anything else was why Lightning was hanging out with the whole time. Could it be that she didn't want to interfere with the other's family time? Or maybe…just maybe…

"I hate that thing."

Hope focused on what Lightning was talking about and saw, to his surprise, that it was no more than a Ferris wheel. He could see the Villiers and Dajh and Sazh already on line, planning to enjoy the newly lit ride. The sun was just setting over the water, painting the sky and ocean in multiple hues of purple and pink. He couldn't think of anything more romantic in his life. What would be the best possible moment for him and Lightning than riding on a white light Ferris wheel, watching the ocean rock back and forth as they glided upwards towards the clouds?

"You sure?"

"They're boring."

_I could think of ways to make it more interesting._ But he kept the thought to himself.

"And besides, they always make me think of those corny movies. You know, where the guy suddenly decides to spill his heart out to some naïve girl while they're stuck in the air." Lightning grunted and placed her arms on the edge of the railing, the only barrier between her and the ocean.

Hope was rethinking that perfect plan. "Why's that so awful?"

"It's almost cowardly. He feels like he has to tell her on top of some moving object, where she can't run away."

"Maybe it's just the moment. You know?" He was watching his friends board the ride. "I think it's beautiful. Why not share that moment with someone else?"

Lightning shook her head, "You wouldn't understand…"

"Why?" Hope turned her towards him, that frustration suddenly boiling inside him again. "Why? Because I'm just a kid?"

"You're not Hope." She said it softly to herself, and he could see her surprise in her eyes from her own words. "You're not a kid." Lightning turned to face him, her blue eyes reflecting the purple from the water. "You're…you're like Snow. You think that everything is black and white, that just because you love someone, everything will work out perfectly. That you'll live happily ever after. And I'm not saying you won't, Hope. But…"

"But what, Light?" He was smiling from her previous words.

Lightning looked up, half speechless, half frozen. He felt dying words fall from her lips as she turned her gaze back to the Ferris wheel. "Things aren't so simple. They're grey. Love isn't that easy."

"I know that." Hope turned to face the water next to her, "But it worked pretty well for Snow, right?"

"Hmph." Lighting didn't turn.

"And besides, you taught me to fight for what I want, not give up and run away."

She smiled, "I did, didn't I?" Hope felt her blue eyes cut him, and he speedily turned back towards her. Lightning's smile was still on her face, but her eyes read something different. It looked like she was prepared to apologize, almost as if she wanted to cry. "You have a long battle ahead."

* * *

A/N:

Thanks guys :D Please Review!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N:

WHAT 17 REVIEWS? WHAT? YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. SERIOUSLY. I LOVE YOU ALL:

_TheBansheeQueen_: ha :D I'm glad I inspired you! But don't be afraid! I was nervous too, because usually I write more canon relationships, but they're a lot of fun!

_Hari-chan15: _Thanks! when I have an idea, I can really blow through a chapter (my lack of ideas is probably why this one took a little longer...)

_Daedulas: _that's really nice. I love writing fanfic because I love trying to get their personality right. thank you!

_CloudRed1988:_ If you thought the amusement park was, weird get ready for this one...:D

_Go10:_ Read and see! :D

_ssnw_: (See above)

_Darth Revan 192_: I'm glad you reviewed! And I'll try to keep my posts fast (faster than this chapter...what fail)

_busard_: Same! I need to get further too...

_Rinoas Shadow_: Ha, really? I'm glad that actually happens in real life...I don't like cotton candy, so can't say I've eaten it enough to have the opportunity to get it stuck (not exactly a bad thing)

_zenbun zakura_: nooo, it's just a really light blond!haha

_mellombro_r: I like rambling, don't worry! And I'm really happy you like my style of writing. I try to make it descriptive but not to the point where it gets dry and obnoxious. This is more casual I think, no?

_LadyAlaska_: please write a lot! I love reviews! And sorry if it was annoying to keep checking my account...

_Angelinn_: Sorry you had to wait this long!

_UnVeRsEd:_ it's good to know I'm following the game pretty well (especially because I haven't finished it...) ugh. need to get on that one. And yay first pairing fic :D I'm glad you like them!

_generalyao_: Yeah, to be honest, I'm suprised I'm a fan of them...and I'll try to watch the grammar! It's not really one of my strong points, but I'll try to edit better!

_HoplessRomanticist_: wow. That's really, really, really nice. Thank you :D :D :D :D :D

_TinierCR_: Thank you! And I'll try not to be so dependent on Microsoft Word...(IT'S REALLY HARD)

Sorry for the obnoxiously long author's not. this is my sad attempt at making up for my sporadic posting abilities...

Lightning may be a little, um, off towards the end...but there's a solid reason for it.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine (yet ;))

* * *

That scared him. That last thing she had said. What the hell did she mean by that? _Maybe she means like age…that I'm still young._

But Hope knew what she meant by long. It wasn't about time or length. It was about difficulty, that whoever he was fighting for, it would be nearly _impossible_.

"Like I didn't know that already." He kicked a nearby empty soda can and looked back towards the Ferris wheel exit.

Lightning was already there, talking (and arguing) with Snow while Serah gently rocked baby Eira. Sazh and Dajh were exiting too, and Hope barely focused as Serah took Dajh's hand, leading him away from the ride.

_Does she know too_?

His illusion of extreme discreteness was blown when he realized Sazh was well aware of his 'crush'. So who was to say that Lightning didn't figure it out either?

And though a large part of him thought he should be worried that he absolutely didn't stand a chance now, there was something that wasn't sitting straight in his mind. If she knew that he liked her, why didn't she push him away?

"Hey, we're going out." Snow wrestled his arm around Hope's neck, giving the shorter boy a slight noogie.

Hope blinked, "I thought we were already out."

"Nah, this is kid stuff. I'll take you somewhere fun. What do you say, Sazh?"

The man looked to the little boy yawning next to him, "Dajh seems to be a little tired."

"Serah will take him back with Eira. So you in?"

Sazh must have seen the slight pleading look in Hope's eyes, "…Alright, Snow."

"Great! Sis, what do you say?"

Lightning turned to Snow quickly, and Hope expected to see more loathing in her eyes. But they look more concerned if anything. "Where?"

"Just Lebreau's bar, nothing too fancy. It'll be fun, Sis."

She began to shake her head, "Snow…"

"Have fun, Claire!" Serah took Dajh's hand while cradling Eira. "See you all later!"

* * *

"I should punch you in the face again." Her blue eyes glanced to her left to a now smirking Snow, holding his hand up to get Lebreau's attention.

"I don't know why you're angry, Sis. This was Serah's idea."

"And you agreed to it. I'm fine."

"Serah doesn't think so." Snow tapped his fingers lightly on the bar counter, then turned around towards the beach. "And yeah, I guess I don't either. You need to get out more while…"

Lightning huffed, "While I'm still young, huh?" She let her pink hair fall across her face, "That passed."

"Little early to be having a midlife crisis, huh Snow?" Lebreau smiled and handed Snow a tall glass of beer. She then turned to Lightning, "What can I get, ya?"

"Nothing."

Snow patted her back, "Which means something strong, Lebreau."

"Got it." Lebreau turned and handed Lightning a shot.

"This is stupid, Snow." Lightning grabbed the glass and sniffed, recoiling her head back at the smell.

Snow was practically laughing, "Didn't drink with the guys back at the Guardian Corps?"

She sipped the drink slowly then pulled her head back painfully, "Not really…"

"Good! The lower the tolerance, the cheaper this night will be. So tell me, what's on your mind, Sis?"

That was something she definitely couldn't answer. Not truthfully anyway. "Nothing important." She wished that was the truth; it should be the truth. But every so often her gaze wandered over to where Sazh and Hope were sitting, talking quietly to themselves about something she really wished she hadn't overheard before.

"You could just talk to him."

Her blue eyes became electric. What did Snow mean by that? "Excuse me?"

"We all know you cared about him, Sis. So yeah, maybe you watched over him for a _different_ reason back then, but it's nothing to be…"

"If you're talking about Hope, I should really cut you off right now." But the glass Snow was holding was still half way full. There was no way he wasn't sober.

He took another sip of beer, just to spite her. "He's 18, Lightning. And if I'm being so ridiculous, why did you spend all day with him?"

Her mouth formed no rebuttal. Probably because her mind was overwhelmed. All of these emotions were running, back and forth, contradicting at one instance and then agreeing the next. Lightning tilted her head to the side, eyes scanning Hope quietly.

She felt the wave of responsibility first, like she needed to protect him, to watch over him, just like she had four years ago. He was hers to watch, to look after, and she would make sure he would be okay no matter what happened.

Then she felt the companionship she had offered him. He had helped her get out of her shell, though she had never admitted to anyone, not even herself, before. Hope truly lived up to his name, at least to her. She may have made him stronger, but he offered her something greater than strength. He was her comfort. That weak, little boy was her rock, her soundboard, her momentum.

Then the last one came. And she couldn't help but look away.

"It isn't right."

Snow huffed, "Why not?"

"He's seven years younger than me."

"Serah's younger than me, and she was eighteen when I proposed to her."

That wasn't convincing enough, not for her.

Snow sighed and pushed another shot towards her. "We all mature differently, Sis. Heck, you know I'm still a big baby." He smiled seeing her do the same, "Hope's been through a lot. He's mature. And besides…" He took another mouthful of beer, "He's perfectly legal."

There was a long silence between them, Lightning swirling the still full shot glass and Snow looking mildly guilty. The blond man then spoke, "I was just kidding back then."

Lightning huffed, her mind flashing back. "You made me feel like such a creep. I should have left that part of the story out." It was when Hope had told her he would quit Operation Nora. Lightning had later relayed the details to Snow…only to have one of the worst conversations of her life.

"_Wait, Sis…you're capable of feeling?"_

"_What?"_

"_You hugged Hope? What? Why?"_

"_Just because I'm only angry at you doesn't mean…"_

"_Please, try to restrain yourself from the underage boy, okay?"_

"That was the hardest punch in my life." He rubbed his cheek bone at the memory. Snow's smile fell, seeing her un-amused expression, "I didn't mean to make you self conscious about anything. But Light, if you like him now…there's really nothing wrong with that. Age is just a number." He gestured towards Hope and turned back, "And as long as you didn't, actually feel that way back then…"

Lightning cringed, "Absolutely not."

"Then fine. No worries. Can you just relax now? Or should I call Hope over here to join us?"

She felt her eyes widen slightly, "Snow…"

"Alrighty then. Hey Hope! Sazh! Come join the party, okay?" Snow smiled widely and pushed the shot deeper into Lightning's hand, "You may want to drink that."

* * *

He wouldn't have pinned her as this type at all. But then again, he wouldn't have thought her to be an angry drunk and definitely not an affectionate one, so what was he expecting exactly? _Her not to do this at all?_

That probably was the most surprising to him. For some odd reason, Lightning kept listening to Snow, kept trying to 'loosen up' to a situation he didn't know was tense to begin with. _At least for her_. He had needed something like this, well, maybe not _exactly_ like this. Hope didn't really want to be completely passed out, needing to be carried home on Snow's shoulder.

At least she was a little more lucid when they arrived back at her house. Hope could carry her by himself now, gently guiding her to the bedroom. Her eyes even broke open for a split second when he flashed the lights on to her room. He had the slightest, briefest notion to change her into her pajamas, but knew he would regret that come morning. Instead, Hope just placed her flat on her bed, making sure to rest her head on the pillow.

Lighting moved from the sudden change in position and rubbed her eyes, "…Where am…"

"You're home, Light." He couldn't help but think, even as a drunken mess, she was still beautiful. "You want anything?"

"No…"

But Hope left her room, returning with a small trash bag. "You may need this eventually."

Her eyes opened to see what he was holding, and she half smirked, "…This is just great."

Hope turned and sat on the edge of the bed by her feet."Don't worry, Light. You'll be fine in the morning…well, maybe not initially but soon…"

"No, no. Don't you see? The moron's smarter than he looks."

Hope blinked, "You mean, Snow?"

"Yes. He…he did this on purpose."

Hope laughed. This Lightning was strangely hilarious. She had the same seriousness as her old self, but was strangely more active, more energetic. She sprang up from the bed, back resting on the headboard. Hope touched her shoulders in an effort to calm her down. "Light…this isn't Snow's fault. Well, yeah…maybe he was convincing you a little, but you didn't need to listen to him. And besides what ulterior motive could he possibly have?"

"He wants me to admit it."

"Ha." Hope dropped his arms and turned back at the wall, suddenly embarrassed by the way she was looking at him. "Admit what?"

Lightning grabbed his hand, reluctantly making him turn back. He didn't want to kiss her. Well…yeah he did, but not know, and it was taking a whole lot of energy to try and restrain himself. Her sudden proximity definitely wasn't helping him out either. "That I think you're..."

He had no time to process. No time to understand that, yes, while Lightning was definitely not herself right now, there may have been some truth behind those words and the best option was definitely to NOT do anything about it until she was completely lucid. But she wouldn't let him. _She_ was already kissing him, making his mind completely shut off.

It was what he had been waiting for, wasn't it? Here she was, right there, admitting that she did see him that way, truly…

_Wait._

"Light…" It was painful, but he broke the kiss, holding her shoulders away from him, "What are you doing?"

She narrowed her eyes, a little hurt, "…Hope, I've always cared about you."

"Yeah, but not like this." He stood up away from the bed, "You're not thinking straight." He shook his head, silver hair running across his face, "And I can't do this, not when I'm not sure you mean…"

But she was already gone, head fallen back on the pillow.

"…it." Hope sighed and placed her comforter over her body. He ran his fingers through his hair gently, head swelling, and walked out of the room, praying, for some odd reason, that she wouldn't remember this come morning.

* * *

A/N:

A little less cute than last chapter, right?

But there's a method to my...not madness...more like plot progression...anyways, I hope you all enjoyed it :D And maybe we could beat last chapters review record?

Bye!


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**

**Oh goodness...this one was really hard to write. I don't even know why. So combine that with sudden bursts of busyness, and you get this awful update. I hope you guys like it...what a struggle.**

**AND specialspecialspecialspecial thanks to my awesome reviewers :D 18? That's better than last time...I can't even believe it. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D x10000000000!  
**

**Thanks to _RinoaShadow, busard, zenbon zakura, plajaro, mellombror, Daedoulas, Angelinn, Johan07, Lunar Fang Feredir, HopelessRomanticist, UnVeRsEd, CloudRed1988, Go10, Lady Alaska, BiJane, Sparkle Valentine, brokensunglasses, _and _Diamond Moonlight_**

**I'm sorry for not replying to all you guys...but I want to get you this part as fast as possible! But thanks to all of you :D you're all so nice! And also thanks to everyone who added this to their favorite/alert list!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**

* * *

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All he felt was regret.

And no, strangely enough, he wasn't regretting not kissing her back or not telling her that he cared about her too. It was just…this whole trip seemed purposeless and stupid. Completely regrettable.

Lightning was practically incapacitated on the couch and he couldn't even say it. How much easier could it have been? And he was pretty sure Lightning wasn't too fond of herself right now…that is if she remembered anything at all.

He immediately started packing at that thought, thinking it better to leave now while he still had some sense of dignity left for this whole situation. He was nearly done too, when he heard a knock on the door. Hope left his bedroom and headed towards the front door, but saw that Lightning was already up walking there as well.

"Good morning, Light." His green eyes remained focused on the floor.

Lightning gave him a passing glance and just headed towards the door, opening it slowly to reveal a rather hyper Snow. "Good, you're up Sis! Thought you'd be crashing the whole day you might miss Hope's send off."

Her blue eyes flashed briefly, "Why are you here?"

Snow grinned, "Why? Am I interrupting something?" He walked into the house, big boots tracking in traces of dirt and patted Hope on the back. "Enjoyed your stay in Bodhum, Hope?"

_No. _"Yeah, great." He gulped, realizing what a horrible liar he was. "I have my bag packed, Snow, so if you want to just take me to the train…"

"Leaving already?" His glance trailed from Hope to Lightning then back to Hope. "…Well Serah wanted to do breakfast first. So here I am to get you two."

Lightning turned around and started down the hallway, "I'll just stay here."

"And miss Hope and Sazh leaving? You may not see them for another four years, Lightning."

She seemed to think about this for a second and then nodded. "I'll go get Hope's bags."

* * *

"She thinks you did it on purpose you know."

Snow practically choked on his orange juice but managed to keep everything down. "What did I do?" He glanced briefly towards the kitchen, saw the women were pretty preoccupied, and turned back to Hope. "It was only a nudge. Just a little push. Am I right, Sazh?"

The other man held up his hands, "Hey, I don't know what you two are talking about."

"I don't even know how you guessed, Snow." Hope straightened out his napkin, a little mad at himself for being that obvious about his feelings.

"Light's an open book."

The napkin was suddenly tearing. "What?" Hope's eyes were glowing, shining from his face in complete confusion. "She's an open book about what?"

Snow's voice was even, "Um, you? Isn't that why you two aren't looking at each other?"

"Oh Hope, you didn't." Sazh was shaking his head, "Well I guess we've been in bigger messes so…"

"Hey, hey!" Hope raised his voice but not too loudly to catch Serah and Lightning's attention. "What do you think happened last night?"

Sazh didn't say anything. He simply gestured to Dajh, who was happily trying to make a paper airship from his napkin.

"…she just kissed me."

Snow's eyes widened, "She did? That's actually more than I expected to begin with. So…."

Hope just stared at Sazh and Snow getting tired of all of this. "Look guys…"

"Don't be shy, Hope!"

"I'm not!" Hope saw them look taken aback at his sudden outburst, but he couldn't stop. "It was horrible, okay? This whole weekend has been absolutely horrible!" He glanced back to Snow who was just staring behind Hope, facing the kitchen. Hope turned and saw a stunned Serah and Lightning, holding eggs, bacon, and a giant bowl of oatmeal. The teenager attempted to crack a grin, "…is only something someone crazy would say. It was great seeing all of you."

Lightning dropped the bowl of oatmeal in front of him. "Sure."

But at least her sister seemed more convinced, "That's good, Hope. We'll be sure to invite you back."

_Great_. He didn't know what was going on with him but everything just seemed completely shitty. Lightning and him were practically not speaking, and he wasn't even sure if it was because she remembered. And even if she did remember, was she mad at herself or at him? Neither was exactly a good option. The first one meant she was probably ashamed, and the second one just made him look like an utter jerk.

Baby Eira was looking at her oatmeal in disgust, and Hope was too afraid his face was making the same expression. He had this whole idea in his head, of what this weekend would have been, what It should have been like. He would see her again, all there old memories would come up, she would realize he's more than just helpless little boy, and he would be able to tell her how he feels about her. That simple. And for a while, things were going that way. At least he thought so.

_Maybe I should have listened to myself. _ Hope started mashing up his scrambled eggs even further. _Maybe I should have stayed…_

His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden splatter of oatmeal in his eye.

"Eira!" Serah immediately stole the small bowl of mush out of the baby's hands and turned back to Hope, "I'm so sorry, Hope."

"It's…okay…it just…." His eye was stinging, "…burns a little. What's in this?" Hope was rubbing the oatmeal away, but it still seemed to make his eye tear.

Serah glanced at her sister, "I think Claire put some cinnamon in it? Why don't you help him wash it out, Claire?"

Lighting stood up, stoically as ever, and left for the kitchen, letting Hope follow. She ran the faucet and wetted a towel, pressing the soft cloth against his eyelid. "Just hold still."

"This awful."

She squinted her blue eyes, "It's really just cinnamon, Hope but…"

"Do you remember?"

Lightning's pressure on the towel decreased, "What?"

Hope took a large inhale of breath, trying to let the pain in his pupil distract from what he was saying. "Last night…do you…"

"All I remember was the awful headache I had this morning."

He just blinked, "Really?"

The pressure returned to the towel. Lightning hesitated a little, "Guardian Corps training didn't exactly cover hangovers."

Hope laughed a little, taking the towel from her hand, "Right of course…" He looked at her faint smile with his good eye. "So we're okay?"

"Is your eye okay?"

He tried to ignore the fact that she didn't answer. "…Yeah…it's fine."

"Good. Finish up eating. There aren't too many trains on Sunday."

* * *

Hope walked down the platform, one duffel bag in hand.

"You're still so…"

"Young?" Hope flashed a smile at Sazh, "I know that. …I know that now. There's a lot of time…a lot of people…"

Sazh crossed his arms, "Am I hearing you right, Hope?"

"I…I think so."

"Hey, kid." He looked back up at Sazh's voice. "Just tell her first."

That was surprising advice. "Why?"

"No regrets." Sazh gave Hope a quick hug, patting him on the back and then turned back around. "Say goodbye Dajh!"

The little boy waved then ran away from Snow, Serah, and Lightning, joining back with his father. "Say goodbye to Hope."

"Bye Mr. Estheim."

Hope gave the boy a quickly wave, "Bye Dajh." He had a slight smile from being called 'mister'. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

Snow walked over carrying Dajh's bags, "Me and Serah are gonna show them to the platform. You'll be okay, Hope?"

His green eyes glanced back to where Serah and Lightning were talking, "Perfect."

"Okay then." He rubbed Hope's hair. "See ya, Hope. We're thinking about coming to Palumpolum soon."

"Eira may be a better traveler by then." Serah walked up and gave Hope a big hug, "It was so nice of you to come." Her voice was so soft, as if she understood his regret to the whole trip.

Hope nodded, "Of course. And yeah, definitely come. My dad wants to see you all." He walked away, the dark duffel seemed to get heavier and heavier as he approached Lightning. They were standing across from the train, his attention fully on her and hers completely focused on the shiny machine.

"Goodbye, Hope." She turned and smiled, hesitating for a second before pulling him into a hug. It was short lived though, her grip on him quickly falling before he even had a chance to hug her back.

Hope shook his head and dropped his bag. "Not yet."

She turned back to the train, "I have something to say too."

"Well, let me go first." He grabbed her hand quickly, not giving her time to react and leaned down to kiss her quickly. "You may not remember what happened last night but I do."

"Hope, you shouldn't…"

"Let me finish." He thought he would be speechless, but the words poured out so easily. "It's an ultimatum."

"Ultimatum? Hope what are you…"

"I like you." He was surprised he could still look at her, eyes not retreating to the sky or ground for once. "And not in the 'you took care of me and are my friend way' but more in the… I guess…" He paused, strong voice fading, "more in the 'love' way."

Her face read nothing. Absolutely nothing. And he thought he should be afraid from her lack of facial expression, but it was terrifying him. But he continued. "So I'm giving you the chance."

Lightning's blue eyes seemed slightly dulled, "Chance?"

"To run away." Hope gulped, "Or…I guess…letting me. I like you, Light."

"I know."

Hope didn't exactly know what to say, "What?"

"I know Hope. I knew when you came. I heard you."

_She did? What…._

"Get on the train."

"But Light…"

Lightning picked up his duffel bag and handed it to him, "Hope…please." Her head went down as the train started to prepare to leave, "Just get on the train."

He took the bag from her, hand running through his silver hair. "Bye, Light."

"Bye, Hope."

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**A/N:**

**Yup so that's the end... I hope you liked it! **

**...**

**Just kidding guys :D But we're nearing the finale! It may be next chapter...or maybe two. I haven't decided yet. Thanks for reading! And please review!  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **I know how many of you though how evil it was for me to pretend that was the end (MWAHAHAHAHA...jk). I think it was even worse that it took me so long to update. I don't know why this story became suddenly so much harder to write, but, well, it was. But I WILL FINISH IT. ...and I did

Yup that's right, this is the last part! I hope everyone enjoys it! And a special shout out to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!

**Divine Wolfe, zenbon zakura, mellombror, HopelessRomanticist, sjwoods, Daedulas, I'mSassy2127, RinoaShadow, Willsdarkerside, Angelinn, Diamond Moonlight, togapika, TheBansheeQueen, KunoichiDawn, **and **Devil's Earl** !

You guys are, like always, awesome. Enjoy the story :D

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He felt more numb than anything else. Oh sure, when he initially heard her say it and even while he was sitting down in his seat, he certainly understood the term _crush_. His heart wasn't just stepped on. It was destroyed- cut up into little, bite-size pieces. He was shattered initially, but that initial devastation only lasted for the train ride.

As he walked off the platform at the local Palumpolum station, he couldn't feel it anymore. Numbness overcame his body, as if there was no heart to feel pain in the first place. His chest felt empty and so did his mind. He utterly refused to think about Lightning, but he couldn't think of anything else.

"Hope!"

His dad had picked him up from the station. And of course he would, he was just a kid anyway. That was why he was considered so useless even when he was a l'cie. It was why Lightning wouldn't even consider him, wasn't it?

"How was your trip?"

_Terrible. I should have stayed home_. "Pretty good. I'm glad I saw everyone."

His father patted him on the back and they both started walking back away from the train. "She must have been really cute, huh?"

He stopped in his tracks, wondering how he could be such an open book to everyone. Even Lightning, the last person he would want to know about any of this, seemed to realize he liked her the whole time. "Dad…you knew?"

"Well that was the whole reason for this trip, right?"

He couldn't help but smile at his perception. How could he have known that the main reason for him second guessing this trip was also his main motivation to go? "I wouldn't say it was the whole reason."

"Well yeah. It was also a little reunion for you guys too, I'm sure. But the baby was the main event, right?'

His green eyes widened. "Oh, the baby!…yeah, she was really…little."

"I'm happy for them."

The rest of his trip up was pretty standard. His father would ask him all the normal questions to which Hope would reply with non-specific answers. Everything was the same. Everything just kept going and going, despite Hope's overwhelming sense of emptiness.

His house was the same and so was his room. Was he expecting everything to seem bleaker? Hope sighed and dropped his duffel bag on the floor before falling on his bed. "This is pathetic."

Hope sprung up from his bed. He couldn't let this keep him down. He needed a distraction. He needed something to do. "I need to get over her."

He waited until nightfall and then told his father he was leaving. Hope was surprised he wasn't asked where, but he supposed after eighteen years, his father finally deemed him trustworthy.

What surprised Hope even more was that he seemed to have a pretty good idea of how to go about this. He would go to some club or bar or something, find some other girl completely unlike Lightning, and develop some sort of shallow attachment to her.

Foolproof.

All he had to do was actually figure out _where_ to go. He hadn't actually been on the dating scene, well, ever and didn't really know where the night hot spots were, despite the fact that he was a teenager. Pining after the same girl for a few years did kind of limit his dating experience.

Then a flood of girls in sparkly dresses turned down the street in front of him, and using his great inference skills, he decided to follow them all the way to a short yet wide building with an array of brightly lit signs. Hope couldn't help but laugh at the name. Car_funk_le was highlighted in orange with the four middle characters displayed in a deep red. But it seemed to be the only club in the area, so Hope just shrugged his shoulders and walked on to the line.

There was a man at the door who seemed taller than Snow and twice as wide, face covered with dark reflective sunglasses. "ID?"

Hope fumbled through his pockets for his wallet, which was there, but unfortunately his ID seemed to be absent. "…um, what do you need?"

"ID please. This club is for adults only, boy. No ID, no entrance."

He couldn't believe it. "But I'm 18! Believe me! I just left my license at home, but here's my library card…"

"He's 18!"

It was a girl's voice that said that, and he half-expected Lightning to be right behind him, a smile on her face and her eyes sparkling. She came here, of course, to admit how wrong she was about them and how stupid she was for ever thinking they wouldn't work out. And they would kiss, causing the obscene line of people outside to clap and cheer in their love.

But then Hope turned around too a short girl with straight dark hair. She did flash him a smile, but it didn't seem as spectacular. "You're Hope Estheim, aren't you?"

He nodded, "Yeah…you are?"

"Hope Estheim was part of the l'cie faction that saved Cocoon when he was just fourteen years old." She turned to the bouncer at the door, "That was four years ago, making him 18!"

The giant man crossed his arms and glanced at the card Hope had given him, "Sorry, Mr. Estheim. Next time bring your ID."

"Yeah, I will." He walked into the club, looking back to see the dark haired girl behind him. "Thanks for that back there."

She just kept smiling, "No problem! You were born exactly one month before I was, so of course I know you're 18." Her smile faded slightly, "I'm sorry, is that creepy?"

_A little_. But Hope laughed, "Nah, I guess you just remember what happened four years ago."

"Of course I do. I mean, I was 14 at the time too. I couldn't believe what you did!"

He smiled a bit, "Thanks."

"You're a lot cuter in person too." She giggled slightly, "Want to dance?"

He said yes, despite every other part of his body besides his mouth and hormones saying the opposite. She was pretty after all, even though she could barely hold a candle to a certain pink haired girl he wasn't supposed to think about.

The night continued on and on until Hope's feet were tired from standing on the solid tiled ground. "I think I'm headed out."

The dark haired girl looked at him curiously, "Is that an invitation?"

"No." Hope didn't hesitate to say the words or the harshness of his tone. "Bye..er, nice meeting you." There was a sense of shame entering his mind when he realized he hadn't even learnt her name. Not like that mattered, right? Shallow attachments. That was the plan.

The road was dark, street lamps barely filling the dark hole of the night sky. But Hope just continued waling, not distracted by the faint city lights or the dimly lit street. He supposed most people would have been scared to walk alone this late at night, but after his adventure as a l'cie, nothing really seemed that scary anymore.

There seemed to be only one thing that got his blood pumping, that gave him chills and throat clog in terror. The anticipation of Lightning's feelings used to be his worst fear, but now that it was over, he had nothing more to fear. He was free to just continue on in Palumpolum without anymore thoughts or dread of things that would never be.

But there was a light in the front of the door.

She wasn't carrying anything, no suitcase, no bag, not even her gunblade, which was a miracle all in itself. Hope blinked a little to clear his eyes and then smelled his breath, knowing that he _must_ have been crazy or at least drug induced. Yet she was still there in front of his door, waiting for something. _Waiting for me?_

"You're out late." She said it like it was nothing, like he had expected to meet her there hours ago. "What were you doing?"

Hope ignored the question, "What are you doing here?"

"It's bad not to get enough sleep, Hope."

"Light…" Hope's voice sounded pained, "Why are you here?"

Though she didn't answer, not right away at least. She sat down on the small ledge in front of his house, shying a bit away from the Light. Her blue eyes looked at the ground briefly and then flashed back up to meet him. "You didn't let me go first."

Hope didn't know what to say, mostly because he had no idea what she was talking about. Luckily, Lightning continued before he could even muster some sort of idiotic response.

"At the train in Bodhum, I let you go first. I think that was a mistake."

_I don't_. He needed to hear it, didn't he? It was final confirmation, already delayed for four years.. "Then what did you want to say?" Although to be honest, he really had no interest in the words. It was probably just a further explanation on why they couldn't or shouldn't, something he was tired of hearing.

"I wanted to say…that I knew you liked me the whole time."

Hope just blinked. This wasn't exactly new information.

"And…" Lightning's usual steady voice dipped slightly, barely noticeable if it weren't for the silence of the night around them. "…I remember kissing you."

Hope's breath suddenly rushed up to his head, "What?"

"I remember that night, the whole night. I remember everything."

He was shaking his head, still confused, "Then why did you lie?"

Lightning stood up at that, coming a little closer to him. "I'm not sure. Maybe for the same reason I didn't say anything when I heard you liked me."

His eyes narrowed a bit. She wasn't making sense. Why would she come all the way here to tell him that? It didn't exactly make him feel better. If anything it made him feel worse. She knew the whole entire time and didn't do _anything_ about it. "I don't…"

"You really are dense."

She kissed him powerfully on the lips, his green eyes still open in complete confusion. A rush of emotions overwhelmed him. The doubt in his mind was rapidly decreasing as the flush of the kiss increased. She was here, perfectly lucid too, kissing him. Now he really thought he was crazy. "I really meant that."

It was her turn to look at him expectantly for a response. And for all Hope could tell, she could have been waiting hours for him to speak. The thought that she was waiting for him now only made him smile. He looked at her pale face softly and grinned, "It's about time."

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**A/N:**

Epilogue may be in the works, but I haven't exactly decided yet...

But I hope you all enjoyed the story! I'll get working on the new one/the other ones on here:D (Stupid school making me late for everything...)

-ASX


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:**

**yay! epilogue! yay! It's kind of short guys, but it's just some cute fluff to insure that yes, Lightning and Hope are okay! I hope you like it! **

**And thanks to the 12 reviewers I had for the last chapter!  
**

**busard:** I don't really think I understand Lightning fully either…but hey, that's the mysterious character for ya. And yes. Not looking forward to the next 40 years of my lie T_T but at least I'll be making money?

**Andrea Ye: **well I hope you like it!

**Divine Wolfe**: happiness and love are my middle name :D glad you enjoyed the past chapter!

**HopelessRomanticist**: I'll keep trying on my H/L stories! There aren't a lot, but I want to finish off the rest of my stories too (which you also review, so double thank you!)

**zenbon zakura**: I'm updating! And also thanks for reviewing my ff7 story (really, thanks a lot :D)

**Devil's Earl**: yay! Thank you!

**Xinyii xo**: do you want to see an epilogue? Maybe I'll write…oh wait! Hope it lives up to your expectations! And so glad you enjoyed the whole story!

**mellombror**: I agree, epilogues are nice :D and I'll brainstorm more ideas for Hope/Lightning! They're too much fun to stop writing here. But let me catch up with my other stories first, haha.

**Merely a Dark Lord**: I'm glad you liked the chemistry, that's always important (especially for a romance fic). And sorry for the clichés! I'm a little bit of a sucker and could no way really make either of them unhappy!

**Chelsirooni**: AWW. Thanks for calling my story beautiful! That's super sweet!

**Nada1224**: Glad you story alerted! Because now it's complete. Instant favorite? Awesome. Glad this fed your fanfic appetite!

**H-thar**: Aw I'm sorry! That was jutst my cruel, sick joke. I'm glad you got to read the real end though! (and hopefully this too!)

**And here's the end of _Four Years in the Making_**

**_

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_**

"ONE, TWO, THREE!"

The white flash made him blind, but he quickly blinked, trying to refocus on the people in front of him. When the sun spots disappeared, he couldn't help but smile. There was Lightning, holding the small baby in her arms, trying to get her small hand to wave at the camera.

"Ready for another one?"

Lightning sighed and repositioned the baby, "Really, Hope? That's like the tenth one."

"One more." He couldn't get the smile off his face. "Really, smile now, Light."

"I'm not?"

Hope just counted again and snapped the photo. "That was a _little_ better."

Lightning sighed and held out the baby, "Hold her, okay?"

He dropped the camera on the nearby sofa and took the baby. "I haven't really seen you smile."

"That's a lie." Lightning combed through her pinkish hued hair and then sat down on the couch next to the camera. "When we first…"

"You weren't really you when we first kissed."

Her blue eyes gleamed a bit, "That's _not_ what I was going to say."

"Oh." Hope just nodded and placed the baby down in the nearby playpen. "I guess I should be glad about that."

"And then when I heard you say you liked me."

Hope laughed a bit. "I thought you were mortified."

"Mortifyingly smiling." She laid down on the couch after Hope sat down, resting her head on his lap. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

His green eyes glanced from the baby and then back to Lightning, letting his hand stray through her hair. "Yeah she is."

They sat on the couch for a while, perfectly content. Hope couldn't have thought of a better time, just relaxing, with Lightning, everything peaceful and calm. He wanted to close his eyes, to drift off to sleep if only to prove that he wasn't dreaming. He felt her short, deep breaths rise and fall on top of him, and it made him so insanely happy. "Light?"

"Hm?" She looked up at him, blue eyes looking uncharacteristically curious.

"I…"

The door then swung open, Snow leading Serah back into the house. They seemed to look around carefully until they caught Hope and Lightning on the couch. "Well, how cute. Look at Sis and Hope."

Lightning immediately got up at the sound of Snow's voice. She sat up awkwardly and patted her hair down, now tangled from Hope's hands.

"Can you help me put Eira to bed, Snow?" Serah picked up her baby and kissed her husband on the cheek before turning back to Hope and Lightning. "And thanks again guys for babysitting."

Hope gave a slight smile, "Anytime, Serah."

"Glad you could come out again, Little Bro." Snow ruffled Hope's hair and made him immediately blush at the nickname. They weren't exactly family. _Not yet_. But Snow had still insisted on the new name, much to Lightning's chagrin.

As the married couple went back up the stairs, Lightning fell back down, making Hope immediately smile again. He was happy that so far, everything had worked out. Hope was free to attend a college in Bodhum, allowing him to see Lightning as much as he wanted to. And that seemed to be a lot recently.

"What were you going to say, Hope?"

He had practically forgotten, concentrating too hard on his memories. "Oh…nothing really." He glanced back down at her, "I just thought of a way I could make you smile."

Lightning sniffed, "What? More pictures?"

"No." His hands went back through her hair and then rested softly on her cheek, feeling her pale warmth radiate against his hand. "I love you."

He expected her to be silent, and she was. But Lightning slowly moved back up, looking Hope straight into the eyes and then kissing him soundly on the lips. A rush of energy seemed to fully consume him until she pulled back, her face in a perfect smile. It was the only answer he needed.

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**A/N:**

**Short but sweet, right? Hopefully.**

**I'd just like to mention that there may also be a doujin made of this fic and people should message (or review) if they want any updates! I'll let you know more as soon as I contact the author and see if it's okay if I'm shamelessly publicizing like this :P (ahh hopefully you won't mind!)**

**Thank you all guys! It was a lot of fun writing this story. Thanks for bearing with my bipolar updates and writer's block, and I hope you all become a fan of my other and future stories too!  
**

**Byebye guys :D**

**-ASX  
**


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